Money > Love?

My parents have recently been giving me and my sister strife over our choices of boyfriends (so they obviously do not like WY). After a lengthy lecture about why it is important to find someone capable of providing for a family in the future (e.g. stable job, preferably a licensed professional or a public servant), and that money is more important than personality (we were told that we were acting too “romantic” for thinking that good manners and gentlemanly behaviours are important qualities to look for in a guy), we felt pretty crummy about the whole situation.

As our parents do not like our boyfriends, we are subject to a lot of restrictions such as not being allowed to go on trips alone with them; inviting them over to watch a movie is obviously out of the question as well. In their minds, our boyfriends are just our “friends” and nothing more. Therefore, we are not tied down and are free to search for other more suitable matches. Our dad is also very open to the idea of finding potential partners for us. I attended one such lunch (more info here), but that was before I met WY. I refuse to participate in my dad’s matchmaking schemes now. I love my parents and I don’t want to make them unhappy through my decisions and actions, but I know that I would be truly unhappy if I choose money over love.

While puzzling over this whole situation, Sis came across the blog of the dating coach, Evan Marc Katz, that answered our dating questions:

Evan Marc Katz on “My parents don’t approve of the person I’m dating.”

Anyway, reading his response made me feel a lot better. I think it mostly has to do with Asian parenting. Asian parents have the fear of letting their children make their own decisions in life, and society is also set up so that resources are coveted above all else, even love. Which I think is truly a shame.


Happy birthday, Mom and Dad!

My mom and dad’s birthdays both land on March 10th. March 10th seems like a common birth date, because I know 2 other people with the same birthday! (My birthday is also a common date) This year is the first time in 10 years that I can actually spend this special day with my parents! MM and I surprised them with a chocolate cake this morning, and with a birthday card. Dad complained and said that he didn’t want a cake, but inside we knew that he was actually quite happy.

This year I finally started to understand the hard work that it takes to be a parent, from listening to my boss talk about his daughter, and coworkers talking about their kids, I really learned to appreciate what parents do for their children. I only hope that if and when I become a mom, I can be half the mom that my parents are!

Mom and dad, I know I’m often not at home because I’m always out and about, but I’ll try to spend more time with you guys! Thanks for everything that you’ve done for me, and for giving sis and me the opportunity to receive world-class education in Canada. Dad, it was really brave of you to take us there all by yourself, and mom, even though you couldn’t be there to watch us grow, we’re reunited now after so many years. We’ll do lots of fun things together now to make up for the lost time.

Happy birthday, mom and dad! :) Stay healthy. We love you.