As shallow as a pond

I just lost a friend in Taiwan and I already have few to begin with. However, I do not feel sad over this loss, but rather relieved. This person, I’m going to call her Gem, is actually related to somebody I’m close to. As a result, I might lose a friend that I actually care about if she forces him to stay away from me, but I will respect his decision because we all have a right to choose who we want to be friends with.

Gem does not have many close female friends, and the reason is because she wants to be queen bee in the group. However, in friendship, I like equality and fairness, and I especially don’t like to be submissive and weak.

Gem is also very picky with her friends, and if she thinks at first sight that someone isn’t suitable to be a friend, she won’t even give that person a chance.

Moreover, she plays mind games.

I know I have done things that would make her feel like I betrayed her, but it’s nothing overly serious, and I know if I did the same to my closest friend Li, she will forgive me.

Recently, Meimei and I started to hang out with a couple of new friends that she did not approve of, and yesterday she decided that she does not want to be friends with us any longer because she believes that “birds of a feather flock together” and even good people can turn bad. When I saw what she wrote, I almost burst out laughing because I thought it was so incredibly ridiculous how childish she was being. So I told her: “There are good people among the bad, and bad people among the good. Everyone has good and bad qualities, so judging someone based on intuition is something that I cannot agree with. If we don’t choose to know more people, listen to more stories, and see different things, our world will be a pond, and we will never see the beauty of the ocean.”

I then gave her a quote in Chinese that was very applicable to the current situation, and it goes something like this:

“Sometimes I would rather be mistaken, rather than explain what is and isn’t. Because those that truly know you will understand, and those that don’t will not.”

And I’m done. She then proceeded to leave the group chat. So, that’s that.

The most ironic of all is she, out of all people, has the least right to say that about my new friends (these new friends are the “true sheep” that I wrote about in my other blog post). Her current group of friends are all book-smart people who went to the best universities in Taiwan, whereas my new friends did not go to well-known schools and are not book-smart, but rather street-smart. However, she herself graduated from an unknown school, and in the past she was one of those people that she is criticizing now, which makes her a hypocrite. She believes that she is at a different level than other people now because of her current friends, but she wouldn’t even have known them if it wasn’t for her brother.

My horoscope is Leo the Lion, but people always say I’m like a sleeping kitty. But when you cross the line, and yesterday Gem did cross that line, you will hear me roar.

4 thoughts on “As shallow as a pond

  1. I love your metaphor there, “our world will be a pond, and we will never see the beauty of the ocean”. It’s very true how when you judge preemptively, you end up losing out on many opportunities you may have had to meet a new lifelong friend. But…sometimes, although you may grow up together, you may someday, inevitably, grow apart

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